Just wanted to know how y’all think either of them show that they care about the other! I like reading about the various ways.
Could be intimate acts (e.g. kissing, hugging) or domestic acts (cooking for the other). Anything and everything really!
For me, I think Iruka shows his affection by tactility. Like he’ll sling an arm over someone’s shoulder, or muss their hair. This either translates to a hesitance when it’s romantic, or more of it when his affections are returned.
I think Kakashi’s affections are more reserved - the type that enjoys being in someone’s presence than actively talking. Sure he’ll needle at Iruka, but he’s happy to settle nearby reading a book while Iruka makes lesson plans.
What about the rest of you? How else do you think they show affection, or do you think they show it differently?
I’m thinking very similarly, with Iruka being the much more tactically affectionate one, while Kakashi shows his affection in much more subtle ways, like a surprisingly thoughtful gift or repeating something Iruka said, in a significant way, that leaves Iruka a little awe-struck. On the other hand, when it comes to more intimate moments, or more emotional moments, I seem to always wind up writing them in opposite situations than that Where, when the scene gets really emotionally intense, Kakashi is the one who reaches out with soft, tender touches, and Iruka is the one with the words that need to be said when touches aren’t enough
I mean that’s one of the joys of writing - to bring them so far out of their comfort zone, or to make them do something otherwise they would have not done - to show the magnitude of such an act. Perfection. chef’s kiss
While I can wholeheartedly agree with the previous headcanons, personally, I see Kakashi being a cuddlebomb behind closed doors, like many people who missed physical affection for a very long time but are now in a safe and loving environment. And becoming incredibly flustered if Iruka so much as tries to hold his hand in public for the same reasons. That meme with the umbrella? Kakashi is the one dead from embarrassment.
Iruka for me is the reverse-thief. He’ll smuggle charms and snacks and little love notes into Kakashi’s pockets and bags, snickering to himself as he imagines the jonin blushing furiously atop a tree when he finds it, perhaps even falling off a little. He’ll of course pretend he doesn’t know what Kakashi is talking about at all later.
Where, when the scene gets really emotionally intense, Kakashi is the one who reaches out with soft, tender touches, and Iruka is the one with the words that need to be said when touches aren’t enough 
That meme with the umbrella? Kakashi is the one dead from embarrassment.