Let Me Know What You Think!

Hello hello everyone! I’m currently writing a story that I’m hoping to be semi long. (Maybe if I’m lucky at minimum 8,000 words.) it’s for the KakaIru Maze Challenge 2021!

I’m looking for a beta or cheerleader or someone who wouldn’t mind bouncing ideas off of and telling me if they do or do not like the direction the story is going in or the idea or someone who is willing to give me that good constructive criticism on the story.

As of right now it’s not very developed. I have a summary, a few tags, a stiff beginning, and the very end. As well as a fairly solid idea. (At least I think it’s fairly solid :joy:)

I want to make the story a mixture of funny, fluffy and angsty. (I want to make people feel all the emotions😂) with a happy ending. The story is gonna be Mature rating on Ao3 but it won’t be heavy (Pg-13 level of things).

I won’t post all I have on here but I’ll post the summary, the idea and what little tags I did have for those who may be interested.

The Prompt
Stuck in the Past

My Idea
Soulmate AU where you can feel and see the heart beat of your soulmate. (Think of that heart beat machine people are hooked up to at a hospital. It’s like that but on their wrists and no beep beep beep sound) when you’re closer it beats faster when your further away it’s slower, when they’re not born yet there’s nothing and if they’re dead it’s flatlined.

Irukas lives in the modern day and his soulmate is dead. One day irukas best friend (mizuki because he’s an ass) calls him a soulmateless freak that will never have someone for him yada yada yada mean stuff mean stuff mean stuff when iruka says he doesn’t want to date or be intimate with him.

Iruka walks around and finds a shop claiming to be magical. He walks in and meets Tsunade, Jiraya, and Orichimaru. Iruka being who he is humors them but doesn’t believe them. He looks around and finds something) that belonged to Kakashi. (Not sure what yet. The three owners laugh and do a weird chant before selling it to him for a lot of money because it’s them of course they do.

Iruka gets violently yeeted into the past when he touches/wishes/does something to it (depends on item)

There he meets his soulmate and a new family via adopting all the orphaned kids he can find. (Including but subject to change by adding more because why not, the sand siblings, Naruto, Sasuke, neji, hinata, and all of the akatsuki who in the story will be made younger)

Like I said there will be angst and what not so I may have the cliche thrown back into the future losing everything he built up unless I can figure out a new way to bring in the angst without it being cliche. Idk on that yet haven’t made it that far in planning.

The Summary
SUMMARY

When a witch asks if you want to meet your soulmate (you’re dead as a doorknob soulmate) you should always say no as iruka learns a bit too late. Thrown in the past with no way back to the future he must learn to survive in a world similar but so very different than what he’s used to.

Excerpt:

  1. Find a place to stay. “Check.”

  2. Find a job. “Check.”

  3. Acquire food. “Check.”

  4. Find soulmate.

He looks at his wrist. The steady heartbeat tells him that he’s in the same village as his soulmate but not close enough. “Ehhh I’ll come back to that.”

  1. STOP TAKING IN STRAYS. Six is enough.

Iruka looks at the stitched up child holding the hand of an albino boy. The tan child is tense and looks ready to bolt at a moment’s notice. The albino boy looks like he’s two seconds away from falling over and bawling his eyes out. He turns to look at the other kids in his small living room and finds they are staring at him with the puppy dogs eyes. Whoever the kids at the door are he has a feeling the others know them. He sighs and opens the door wider. “Come on little ones. I’ll make you something to eat.”

5.STOP TAKING IN STRAYS!

He crosses out six, puts eight and underlines it.

short explanation
So a tag says age difference but I wanted to explain it. The age difference is technically because Kakashi is born in the past and iruka in the future. So like if someone wants to be technical that’s a huge gap. (Don’t ask me numbers as I don’t know them yet) but in all actuality they’re both similar in age. I’ll probably make Kakashi like 29/30 and iruka 26. Wasn’t sure if it really needs a tag but I’d rather over tag than under tag.

Tags

If anyone is interested in this please let me know! :pleading_face::heart:

Thank you so much!

3 Likes

Hey, so your idea sounds interesting! DadRuka and Found family are things I love! I’ll reply more during lunch, with some more info. but I would like to work with you on this, if you’d like?
You’re more than welcome to check out my writing (kaoruhana on AO3) in the meantime to see if you’d be interested in letting me work with you.
I’m in US EST timezone btw. So lunch is 5 hours away.

2 Likes

Hello!!
Yes I’d love your help!

I’m also in EST so that works out well! I don’t get great notifications on here so do you have a discord name you’d be willing to DM me so we could talk more and what not? If not that’s fine! :sweat_smile:

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Moe, my heart clenched when you suggested that Iruka would lose everything he gained :sob: :sob: :sob: But if it’s angst you’re going for that would definitely cut it!!

Love the idea with the ECG on the wrist~~~ And also “stop taking in strays” :joy:

I’m looking forward to seeing where you take this~

1 Like